Saviors and serpents.

There are two smiles in the picture above. One of them is genuine, one of them is plastered on for effect. Take a guess at which is which.

This isn't going to be a long, rambling post full of conspiracy theory and tin foil hats. If Gary Bettman wanted to ensure the Penguins would be Stanley Cup Champions, he would've "fixed" it so the Red Wings didn't sniff the Final. So no, it's not rigged. It's just riddled with bad officiating and overseen by a serpent who makes everything around him worse for being there. Bettman isn't smart enough to orchenstrate a conspiracy to bring the Cup to Pittsburgh.

Regardless...I have a bad feeling. Now granted, I'm an uber-pessimist by nature. I always assume the worst in pretty much everything. Whenever the Red Wings go to overtime, I expect them to lose. They've proven me wrong twice so far this postseason. But that won't stop me from being cynical. Last year I was eeriely confident. So confident I committed an inexcusable gaffe - I ordered a Western Conference Champions t-shirt in the euphoria of beating the Stars in the WCF last year. I grew increasingly paranoid as the Final progressed, worried that karma would catch up and smite the Red Wings, punishing me for celebrating a conference championship. Such thinking is, of course, complete nonsense. But rational thought is not to be expected from hockey fans in the playoffs. And in the end it didn't matter. Wings 3, Penguins 2. Wings four wins, Penguins two. Wings, Cup Champs.

So what did I do immediately after the Red Wings finished Chicago in overtime Wednesday night? I went to NHL.com and ordered a 2009 Western Champs t-shirt, naturally. It worked last year.

Okay, all nonsense aside, these things I know are true.

1. If it was The Face of the League™ Sidney Crosby nursing the injury, there's no way this thing would be starting on Saturday, followed up by the next game on Sunday.
2. Pavel Datsyuk is not healthy, and if he ever gets on the ice, that's going to be noticeable.
3. Chris Osgood is a better goalie than Marc-Andre Fleury. And since he's Chris Osgood, nobody will acknowledge this.
4. The "stage fright" that everyone says the Penguins experienced in Games 1 and 2 last year is being vastly overblown. Stage fright lasts for ten minutes, maybe a period. Not a whole game, and certainly not two whole games. The Red Wings just flat out dominated the Penguins in those opening games.
5. With that said, the Penguins will not be shut out for 120 minutes of hockey this time around.
6. Marian Hossa is going to do his best to offset any hinderance in Pavel Datsyuk's game. He's going to play in this series like his life and the lives of all of his family members are on the line. The one flaw in Hossa's game is that he's not always "there", that he can coast at times. You don't think he's going to be "there" for the Final? This is why he signed with Detroit. And all the Pittsburgh fans spewing venom at him when the series shifts to Pittsburgh is just going to make him play better.
7. Pittsburgh fans can justify and rationalize all about who wouldn't be on their team if Hossa had signed with them. Fact is, you don't lose a top 10 forward and get better. Deeper, maybe. Better? No. Just as the Wings are better with him, the Penguins are worse without him.
8. The Red Wings aren't going to bottle up Malkin for five games like they did last year.
9. Malkin (and Crosby) also isn't going to go crazy like he did for the first three rounds, because the Red Wings defense is in an entirely different league than Philadelphia, Washington and Carolina. The free-flowing, wide-open games in the East are done. It's always said that you have to be willing to get down and dirty in the corners and in front of the net to win the Stanley Cup. The Red Wings (and the Western Conference as a whole) have this down. But that's not to say the Penguins don't. This is where their experience from last year will come into play. They know more about what sacrifices have to be made to win it all. But they're also not going to do any of that "down and dirty" stuff better than the Ducks did.
10. While the Penguins haven't faced a defense like Detroit's, the opposite holds true as well: while the Wings have faced some elite players (Nash, Getzlaf & Perry, Toews & Kane), they haven't faced a duo like Crosby and Malkin (this year, anyway).

I want to be confident. I really do. I want to be brash, arrogant and full of bravado like Chief over at Abel to Yzerman. But I can't. It's not who I am or what I am. What I am is cautious, fearful, and worrisome.

Worrisome that when it's all said and done, the serpent's smile will be genuine this time.

Bias.

Blackhawks 4, Red Wings 3 (OT); Western Finals, 2-1

In 1983, Dan O'Halloran was shot and almost killed by an unknown gunman while in the city of Detroit.

25+ years later, I guess he's trying to even the score.

Last year, it was O'Halloran that immediately waved off a Red Wings goal in Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals against Dallas. That goal would've given the Wings a 1-0 lead, deflated the already sketchy Dallas crowd, and shattered the teetering psyche of the Stars.

Instead, O'Halloran ruled it was no goal because Tomas Holmstrom was interfering with Marty Turco. I posted this, along with this picture:

Dallas ended up scoring first in that game, won it, and eventually forced the series to six games before the Red Wings closed them out.

In Game 1 of the Finals last year, same thing happened. Holmstrom was in front of the goalie, not inside the crease, contact was made, and because of Holmstrom's reputation, the goal was wiped out. Didn't matter that Holmstrom has every right to be there as long as he isn't bumping the goalie in the crease. Didn't matter that the contact was negligible and it was dubious as to who actually intiated it.

The referee? Dan O'Halloran.

And now tonight. Watch the video. The CBC guys make multiple mentions of it. Not a single arm goes up from a single official when Kronwall blows up Havlat, who wasn't even paying attention. Just like Stuart's hit on Selanne in Game 7 against Anaheim, there was no penalty called until they saw there was an injury. Only in this fucked up league could the result carry more weight than the intent. In other news, I hear they're going to treat manslaughter as a more serious offense than attempted murder.

Oh wait. That doesn't make any sense at all, does it?

Obviously this did not affect the outcome of the game. The Wings came back, tied it 3-3, and for some reason coasted through the third period (against a cold goalie who hadn't played in six weeks) and then came out with their heads up their asses in OT. Chicago deserved to win.

Doesn't change the fact that O'Halloran is a joke. I'm not going to directly say that he is intentionally (or unintentionally, even) screwing the Wings as some sort of bizarre payback for what happened to him 26 years ago. But at the same time, how amateurish of the NHL to continuously put him in Detroit games. Then again, it IS the NHL I'm talking about. Might as well be an amateur league with their Mickey Mouse commissioner and butt sniffing lapdog of a disciplinarian. You want to give Kronwall two minutes for interference because by the strictest letter of the law, it probably was? Okay. It'd be a tick-tack call, but we'd live with it. But five and a game for that is irresponsible and can't help but make us question the motives of the people calling the shots. Get the fuck out, O'Halloran. You're a sideshow and an embarrassment.

Then again, maybe it's not his fault. Maybe there was no bias on his part. Maybe he's just another pathetic cog in the pathetic machine that spits out pathetic NHL referees. I thought I'd seen the lowest of lows when NBA refs essentially took the Phoenix Suns out back and made them grab their ankles in their series against the San Antonio Spurs a few years ago. I thought I'd seen the lowest of lows when Ed Hochuli literally took a win away from the San Diego Chargers last year because he blew a call.

This is definitely the lowest. Not this specific incident, as laughable as it is. But the entire situation. There is no sport, no league with more abysmal officiating than the NHL. Tired of hearing the complaining? Tough shit. Incompetence has to be exposed. I shouldn't have to look up who the officials are going to be in a game and wonder if things are going to get screwed up. This is the third time in two years O'Halloran has stuck his nose where it didn't belong in a Red Wings game.

When's the fourth one going to happen?

Closure.

Red Wings 4, Ducks 3; Wings win Western Semis, 4-3

It was exciting. It was exhilirating. It was pulse-racing, gutwrenching, and nearly heartbreaking.

And just like Chief over at A2Y, I'll be damned if I'm going to be classy about this.

Fuck the Ducks. Fuck their players, fuck their coaches. Chris Pronger can go to hell, and he can take that bitch Corey Perry with him. Special Nieds Scott Niedermayer can shave his skunk beard and take his cheap shots and retire. Wizdoucheski and Doucheimin can suck it. Ryan Getzlaf can get slapped if that's what it will take for him to shut his stupid mouth. Randy Cry-lyle can sit on it and rotate with his double talk about goalie interference and how "physical play is allowed".

This was the sweetest victory since we killed Patrick Roy seven years ago. Sweeter than the Cup vs. Pittsburgh last year. Why? Because this was personal. This was against a team intent on not just beating us, but destroying us. Last night was more than a dramatic seventh game victory that sent us to our third straight final four. It was about delivering the final blow against our #1 nemesis. And make no mistake about it, the Ducks are as close to the 1996-2002 Avalanche as we're going to get. Their classlessness and thuggish intimidation tactics drove us mad with fury, blinded us with rage as we called for blood. And yet the ones who mattered most - the Red Wings players - did what they do best: they answered goonery with goals. And at 9:32 PM eastern time, at the 11th hour of the 7th game, good triumphed over evil; Batman finally beat the Joker; the Red Wings finally vanquished their nemesis in an act of vengeance years in the making.

Rob Niedermayer's pushing of Hasek in Game 2 in 2007. Pronger's elbow on Holmstrom. The fluttering puck of death in Game 5. Lilja's giveaway to Selanne. Watching the Ducks celebrate a Western Conference title. Brown's "physical play" on Hudler. Special Nieds and Getslapped interfering with Osgood in Game 3. Brad Watson. Pronger trying to kill Datsyuk after Game 3. Special Nieds' elbow on Datsyuk after Game 6. Perry the fairy beating a defenseless Rafalski to a pulp. The constant cross checks. The constant runnings of our goalie. The constant cheap shots and trash talk.


All of the above was atoned for last night. Like I had called for for the past two weeks, the Ducks finally paid their debt. They paid for the crimes they have committed. Was this the end? Probably not. The Ducks will be back. There will come a time, probably in the near future, when they return for more. They will continue to do what they do. Perry and Getslapped are both young. They will continue to annoy us for years to come. Sasquatch is getting long in the tooth, but he's not done throwing his elbows around just yet. Special Nieds may or may not return, I'm sure he will spend time in his Prius meditating or some shit to figure out if he's going to hold the Ducks hostage for half a year again or not. Regardless, this war isn't over like the war against Colorado was over in 2002.

But we have closure. The trangressions for which they are responsible over the past two years have been answered for. I'm sure somebody will admonish me for this post, calling me classless and saying that karma will get me. To that, I say: nyah nyahhhhh. This WAS karma. The Ducks had karma coming to them for all they've done, and they got it, the most glorious of ways. It's the job of the players and coaches to be classy (which, by the way...the Ducks aren't), not the fans. If you expect people to be superficially gracious and respectful, you picked the wrong blog to read. The wrong sport to follow. The wrong species to be a part of.


Go golfing, bitch. Have fun on that golf course. Maybe you can find a caddy to beat the shit out of and make yourself feel good. Make sure you tell him that's he's gonna get it.

Finality.

I suppose it couldn't have ended any other way. The Red Wings' effort last night was terrible for two periods. The conditions of the ice were atrocious and probably a deliberate ploy by Anaheim to slow down the Wings, allowing their one-line Ducks to keep up. The Ducks were, as usual, a bunch of gutless assholes when the game ended. I'm sure Corey Perry felt really good about himself after he jumped Brian Rafalski, a non-fighter in his first game back from injury. Scott Niedermayer throws his elbow at Datsyuk's head, and then makes sure his visor is pulled down to protect himself should Datsyuk throw a punch. The Ducks are what they are: a bunch of spineless cheap shot artists.

And none of that matters anymore.

What matters is that the latest chapter in this bitter war will come down to one of the greatest things in sports. The Seventh Game. Just the words "Game Seven" evoke memories of warriors past. Those who saw it will never forget Stevie Y's blast against St. Louis in 1996. We all remember where we were for Game 7 against Colorado in 2002, when the Red Wings finally won the war against Patrick Roy, sending him away for good, ending the Detroit/Colorado rivalry.

For outside observers, nothing is greater than Game Seven. For fans of the teams involved, there is nothing worse. The obsessive qualities that make us diehard fans, they all work against us in a Game Seven situation. The emotional investment we pour into these teams threatens our sanity. Four years ago, during the day of Game Seven between the Pistons and Spurs, I felt sick to my stomach all day. I was literally trembling from anxiety and fear. Is it unhealthy? Is it over the top? Yeah, probably. For most, sports is just a hobby. Something to follow, something to be interested in. For me, it has become something more. Some people become addicted to certain types of food. Some people become alcoholics or worse, drug addicts. Me? I'm addicted to sports. It's a religion, as far as I'm concerned. It dictates my mood. I'm in the category of Red Wings fans who are like drug addicts. When the Red Wings win, it's a high that can't be matched. When they lose, we shiver in the corner, we zone out, we become irritable, irrational nutcases incapable of rational thought or reason. It's a passion that those who don't have it cannot begin to comprehend. For people like me, Game Seven is a cathedral and a cemetary all at the same time. It's the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

Tonight will be a restless one of Red Wings fans of my ilk. We know deep down that we cannot affect the outcome. We know that the ones who will decide it are the players who lace up the skates and put it all out there on the ice. And yet, we still have our superstitions and rituals that we go through, perhaps simple, naive belief that there are higher powers at work that will strike us down if we deviate from the motions we go through. "Hockey Gods", as it were. There are coaches and players who believe in the Hockey Gods. In this case, they believe that if they work hard enough, do all the right things and keep hacking away, the Hockey Gods will reward them for their dedication. For fans, it is similar in the sense that we naively believe that if we follow the same stringent procedures, the Hockey Gods will smile on our team. Since Abel to Yzerman busted it out earlier in this series, I have included "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" in my pregame ritual, along with my usual "Hell's Bells". The latter is just one I rock out to so my adrenalin is up for the game, but the former is effective too, I've noticed. It does a great job serving as the calm before the storm.

We sometimes like to refer to the players of our favorite teams as "heroes". Politically correct people take offense to this, preferring to reserve that title for people in the military, firefighters, police officers, etc. Me, I don't see the big deal. I don't think it's disrespectful. I fully recognize that the people putting their lives on the line to keep us safe as heroes, and I acknowledge their heroism is much more significant than that of those who make a living playing a game. I'm comfortable calling professional athletes heroes if I deem them to be. The Red Wings are heroes because they lay it on the line for us every night (well, almost every night). They bring us happiness. They provide us an escape from the real world. We live vicariously through them. Their success is our success. Their pain is our pain. They are our heroes for this.

Tomorrow night, we will live with them. Or we will die with them. I'm not a big believer in "fate". I don't think it's "fate" for the Red Wings to win or lose tomorrow night. If I believe in anything close to it, I may choose to believe that it was destiny for the Red Wings and Ducks to meet like this. Game Seven, with everything on the line and nothing to hold back. For two teams that have hatred in their hearts for the other and have been through the wars against each other, I can think of no more fitting conclusion than one final game. One final game to decide who advances and who goes home. If destiny is real, that it was indeed destiny that the past two Stanley Cup Champions should meet in a Seventh Game. In less than 24 hours, the final chapter will begin. I characterized this as a battle of good versus evil. We should've expected that evil wouldn't go down without one final salvo. The Joker always has one last trick up his sleeve. He always has an ace in the hole. Last night, he used it. And tomorrow, Batman will face the Joker, one last time.

And like Gordon Lightfoot said, they'll pray in a musty old hall in Detroit.

Collection.

The last time the Red Wings closed out a series at home was in 2002 when they won Game 5 against the Hurricanes to win the Stanley Cup. Since then, they have won eight playoff series. Nashville in 2004. Calgary and San Jose in 2007. Nashville, Colorado, Dallas and Pittsburgh in 2008. Columbus in 2009. Every last one of those series has ended away from Joe Louis Arena. Some in the most dramatic of ways, others in laughable fashion, and one in the most glorious way imaginable.

Tonight, our Winged Wheel warriors will take the ice in a place we have grown to hate. Twice before, we have seen our hopes and dreams end in this detestable arena. We have suffered the indignity of seeing the defending champions swept away in overtime in the first round. We have endured the pain of seeing the retooled Red Wings that had learned to fly get cut down short of their goal when we knew they were better.

We have seen that goddamn team lay claim to what should have been ours.


Tonight, well...tonight is about retribution. It's about payback. It's about justice. It's about righting a wrong two years old. But it's also about sending a message. You won't hear this during the two minutes ESPN dedicates to the NHL, and you certainly won't hear it from the CBC or the Hockey Night in Canada dinosaurs, but guess what? Hockey fans want the Red Wings to win tonight. Not because they're Red Wings fans, and not because they want to see a repeat. But because they see the Ducks for what they are, just as we do: a dirty, cheapshotting, bushleague team that relies on goon tactics and thuggery to wear down opponents because they aren't talented enough to win straight up. This is a battle of good versus evil. And it's time that good prevailed.

This is about atonement for the sins of 2007. It's about erasing memories. Memories of Rob Niedermayer nudging Dominik Hasek into the net in Game 2 to score the tying goal in a game the Ducks would win in overtime. Memories of Pronger slamming Holmstrom's head into the glass and busting him open and then having the audacity to give a "physics lesson" after being suspended. This is about atonement for that dreadful Game 5, for that goddamn puck that fluttered into the net, and for Andreas Lilja, who, while he may not be on the ice, will certainly be watching and praying for absolution for the mistake that still haunts us all.

Sometimes I wonder what the players think. Do they hate this enemy as much as we, the fans, do? Do the players who were on the ice at the Honda Center two years ago cling to the that bitter, disgusting feeling we all felt in our mouths while the Ducks celebrated their Western Conference Championship? It was like sucking on a rusty coin. Do they use that for fuel? Do they use the unconscionable blown call from Game 3 a week ago? Do they experience some of the same sadistic, evil things some of us feel but suppress? Wait, you mean I'm the only one who has a tiny voice inside me yelling for Babcock to send McCarty in tonight to stop Pronger's heart and make sure it stays stopped this time? Oh.

Collection time has arrived. The payment's past due, and the taxman cometh tonight in Anaheim. And when it's all said and done and the Red Wings have more goals than the Ducks (and it WILL happen, because the thought of a Game 7 against this team is too much for me to bear), I will savor this like a championship victory. I'll savor it more than any of the previous eight closeout games on an opponent's ice. When the buzzer sounds and the legions of Red Wings fans invading Honda Center are whooping it up while the fake, fairweather Ducks fans bail out and focus on the Lakers or Dodgers, I'm going to cling to the endorphin rush that follows. I'm going to relish the looks on the faces of Chris Pronger, Scott Niedermayer (and his wife Rob), Teemu Selanne, Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry, Randy Carlyle, and every other SOB wearing black.

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. It gets very cold on ice, from what I hear.

Precipice.

Hey Perry, tell Niedermayer he's gonna get it. You better tell him. And Pronger. And Getslapped. And the other Niedermayer sister. And Selanne.

Oh, you're gonna get it too. About 10:00 PM Eastern time Tuesday night, you're gonna get it, for sure. Make sure everybody on your team knows it and has their golf plans well laid out.

You better tell em.

Lessons.

May 20, 2007: Ducks 2, Red Wings 1, OT; Western Finals, 2-3

It's a familiar scenario. The Red Wings and Ducks in a nail-biting series, tied 2-2. A one goal Red Wings win in Game 1. A Ducks overtime win in Game 2. A narrow Ducks win and a Red Wings blowout in Anaheim. A pivotal Game 5 at Joe Louis Arena scheduled for a Sunday afternoon. For Wings' fans, this is one of those horror story games that we wake up in the middle of the night yelling incoherently about. For 59 minutes, the Red Wings controlled that game on May 20, 2007. And for all that, they earned precisely one goal. And in the final minute, the above happened - the Ducks got the luckiest of lucky bounces. That rat bastard Scott Niedermayer got it in the slot, and was off balance and hacked at it. He was falling down, so it's hard to tell if he was shooting it or trying to pass it to Andy McDonald at the side of the net, but regardless, Nicklas Lidstrom did what great defensemen are taught to do - block the puck from reaching where the shooter/passer wants it to go. So he lowered his stick toward the ice to block it. And it inexplicably fluttered upward, and it sort of...floated...through the air, and somehow Hasek was caught offguard. I don't know if it was just his reflexes, which were abysmal at this point in his career, or if the deflection just sort of threw everything sideways. But whatever it was, it fluttered over Hasek's left shoulder and into the net. That rat bastard was so discombobulated that he fell back down while celebrating the most inexplicable of goals.

Start at about 2:55:



And listen to the crowd. Normally the crowd gets really quiet when the opposition scores, like any usual crowd at any venue in any sport. But here, it sounds like everybody's screaming in horror because they can't believe what they just witnessed, it was so out of nowhere and terrifying.

If you play the video to the end, you obviously see how that abortion ended. Lilja, who a friend of mine has never forgiven and has, since that godforsaken day, called him LOLja, gives it away, Selanne goes forehand-backhand-water bottle, the Ducks lead 3-2 and finish the Wings in six. Me? I didn't even see it live. I was so shaken by the Niedermayer goal, I left. I had seen that movie before; I knew how it ended. So I went out and mowed the damn lawn. I HATE mowing the lawn, and that day there wasn't enough grass to cut, not enough to keep me out there for hours like I wanted.

So, two years later, here we are. Ducks and Red Wings, two games apiece, Game 5 in Detroit on a Sunday afternoon. I can honestly say I want to beat the Ducks worse than I ever wanted to beat the Avalanche. That's probably just me, and I can understand how some might find that a bit extreme, but whatever. I ache for the closeout game against these thugs. Pronger's a neanderthal on skates and a genuinely detestable human being. Perry's an elbow thrower and he hits players in scrums as he's backpeddeling because he's a bitch. The Niedermayer sisters are weepy little girls. Getslapped just irritates the shit out of me. Carlyle learned from Brian Burke well, he has the practice of crying and bitching to the press down to an art form. Wisniewski too.

I said before Game 1 that I wanted the Ducks and I got the Ducks and that it was time for the Ducks to pay the debt they've incurred. The last nine days and four games have done nothing but increase that debt. All the things I hate about that fucking team have been there. They've run the goalie and cried to the media about how we run the goalie. They've mugged and harassed our players after the whistle and then accuse the Red Wings of instigating. They sent an insignficant goon into the game to take a shot at the smallest player on the roster, and then have the audacity to accuse one of our players of a dirty hit on an already-injured man of theirs. And, perhaps worst of all, they won a game under false pretenses. Game 3 is going to stick with all Red Wing fans. It's just a matter of whether it sticks with us like Game 5 against Pittsburgh stuck with us (an irritant, but ultimately irrelevant), or whether it's another one of those horror games we look back on.

I firmly believe that the Red Wings solved Hiller and the Ducks Thursday night. After the wretched start, when Babcock changed the lines, it was lights out. The Ducks were begging off at the end. They didn't belong on the same ice. The chemistry between Datsyuk and Zetterberg was there like it never left. Two of the best defensive forwards on the ice to hound Getslapped and Perry the Fairy and still have enough juice to control play in the offensive end? Bingo. And then the Franzen-Filppula-Hossa line. Yeah, good luck defending that with Todd Marchant and Scott Niedermayer's wife Rob. Didn't work Thursday, it's not going to work now. The depth advantage we all crowed about before the series started was out in spades at Honda Center in Game 4. And it's going to be there at Joe Louis Arena around 5:00 today.

There's blood in the water now. Duck blood.

Instinct.

Last year, the Red Wings didn't face this kind of adversity in the playoffs. Yeah, they lost two games in Nashville and needed overtime in Game 5 to go up 3-2 in that series. They had to deal with some awful officiating in Dallas, and they lost two straight games before refocusing and winning in six. They took an absolutely horrifying body blow in Game 5 against Pittsburgh when they were 34.7 seconds away from the Stanley Cup, only to lose the lead and lose the game in three overtimes. They bounced back from that to win Game 6 in Pittsburgh.

This is different. At no point last spring did the Red Wings trail in a series. They never had their backs pushed up against the wall like they do now. The last time they trailed in a series before now was against these same Ducks two years ago when they lost Game 5 at home in overtime. They bowed out with a whimper and a way-too-late roar in Game 6. Before that, they trailed the Sharks 2-1, and were 30 seconds away from going down 3-1 before Robert Lang tied it and Mathieu Schneider won it in overtime.

So now we'll get to see what these Red Wings are made of. The unconscionable screwjob that took place two nights ago won't ever leave us, as Red Wings fans. If the Wings lose this series, we'll never forgive Brad Watson, and we'll have just another notch on the belt of inexplicable, terrible moments. Game 5 against Colorado in 2002. Game 6 in Calgary in 2004. Game 6 in Edmonton in 2006. That Game 5 against the Ducks in 2007, and Game 5 vs. Pittsburgh last year. If Anaheim beats Detroit again, that moment in Game 3 on Tuesday might top them all.

Abel to Yzerman summed it up nicely:

Time for bluntness: losing this series would be worse than ‘06, worse than ‘03, even worse than losing to these cheating scumbags in 2007. This would be the biggest waste of talent in NHL history. This would be the most heinous missed opportunity we’ve ever seen. Dynasties don’t lose to one-line (plus Selanne) teams. Dynasties don’t lose to a Swiss boy, a forest myth and a deadhead. And Marian Hossa didn’t sign for 5 bucks to lose to this team, in this round.

It's time, Red Wings. It's time to put the skate to the throat of this fucking team. I'm not saying the Wings have pulled a Pistons on us and dicked around these past couple games. But I'm saying it's time to turn it up a notch. That dominance we've seen in the third period the past two games, it's time to bring that at the opening faceoff tonight. Don't wait for the Ducks, with their one quality line, to wear down. MAKE them wear down faster tonight. Hossa came here to win a Cup. It's time to show it, Marian. It's time to assert dominance on this team. It's time for Datsyuk and Hossa to control play in the Anaheim zone, make the Ducks weary, make them take penalties. And make them pay on the power play. It's time for these lazy, half-hearted passes into the neutral zone to stop. The Ducks have clogged it up and choked off Detroit's speed. It's time to adapt and attack.

Meanwhile, in the category of insanity, we have this from James Wisniewski:

Ducks defenseman James Wisniewski was at the Honda Center Thursday morning and addressed the media, a day after being released from the hospital following a lung contusion suffered in Game 3. He said he is hoping to play in Game 5 Sunday, and he called Tomas Holmstrom's elbow to his face, about 10 seconds after he had taken a puck to the chest, "a gutless play.'' "I was kind of out of it the whole time I was skating around. I looked back and I see it was a blatant elbow when I was hunched over coughing up blood, not even battling,'' Wisniewski said. "So it shows a little bit of a gutless play by one of their players.''

I mean...do I really need to comment? It's alright, I will anyway.

1. Wisniewski was not "hunched over". He was upright and still involved in the play 10 seconds after he got hit with a puck in the chest while he was cross-checking Holmstrom.
2. The blood wasn't even from the glancing blow that Homer landed. He was coughing up because HE GOT HIT IN THE CHEST WITH A PUCK!
3. Shut the fuck up, Wisniewski. You play for the dirtiest fucking team in hockey with the dirtiest fucking player on your blueline. Pronger's been suspended EIGHT times in his career for his goonery, and you're going to call another team dirty? This kind of hypocrisy is going to give me an aneurysm.

While we're on the topic...this whole series is making me sick. The Ducks were the most penalized team in hockey this year. The Red Wings were the least penalized. And yet, the Ducks continue to get away with murder. Scott Niedermayer is allowed to throw himself at Osgood and Ryan Getzlaf is allowed to slash Osgood in the arm, and the goal counts when it's scored. The Ducks' defensemen CONTINUALLY interfere with Red Wings at their blueline. Why? Because we saw what happens when they don't in Game 1 when Franzen blew past Beauchemin and scored on Hiller. Oh, and then he ran Hiller over and Carlyle cried about it, even though his team is crashing the net on every play, trying to run Osgood and get the puck loose. And the Ducks continue to instigate after the whistle, throwing punches and cross checks nonstop while the refs stand there, doing nothing. They have the audacity to call out the Red Wings for dirty play when Nicklas Lidstrom had to restrain Pronger because the neanderthal was trying to remove his glove and throw a closed fist at Datsyuk after Game 3 ended.

I hope the actual Red Wings aren't dwelling on this petty shit like I am. Because that will be their undoing (asides from the bullshit officiating). It's time to get back to Red Wings hockey. Stop letting the Ducks drag you down into the gutters with them. Come out tonight, hair on fire. Don't wait until the third. Score first. Play smart, and this team of thugs will fold.

I wrote this last April when the Pistons were down 2-1 in the first round against Philadelphia. I detailed about how we would find out what the Pistons were made of as they faced a possible 3-1 deficit in the first round. They responded brilliantly (in that round, anyway), rallying to win Game 4 before blowing Philly out in Games 5 and 6.

Now the same applies to our Stanley Cup Champions. They've been through the wars together, and now we will see where their instincts lie. Facing a 2-1 deficit against a nemesis that is intent on making this personal, while dealing with officiating that is so maddeningly inconsistent and awful, what will the instincts of this Red Wings team be like? Will they crumble like they did in Anaheim two years ago, or will they rise above the bullshit and put their skates on the Ducks' throats?

Killer instinct. It's time.

Abomination.

Ducks 2, Red Wings 1; Western Semifinals, 1-2

You want to know why hockey is very, very solidly behind the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball in popularity in this country? I mean, besides being stuck on a no-name network, losing an entire season to a lockout and the Dead Puck Era that strangled the fun out of the sport for a decade?

It's nights like this. Events like this. Screwjobs like this that will keep the NHL in its place in the pecking order. The casual, prospective fan gets turned off when any team, and especially the defending champions, get robbed blind by incompetent, abysmal officiating put in place by one of the worst commissioners in major American sports history. Seriously, and I say this with extreme prejudice, extreme contempt, and pure, undiluted hatred: You suck, Gary Bettman. You are a disgrace to the sport, a disgrace to the office you hold, and a disgrace in general. It took an entire lockout for you to loosen the rules to inject some excitement into the sport. And you still have rules in place that ruin the game because you put pathetic, lapdog-like people on the ice, give them striped shirts, and call them officials. In a group that includes Bud Selig and David Stern, you have the "worst commissioner" title locked up and hidden away, buddy. The clowns that you call referees are an embarrassment. Brad Stuart checks a guy behind the net with the puck, and the ref near the play does nothing, while the one all the way out at center ice, who probably didn't even know where the puck was, calls interference. A year after Tomas Holmstrom gets called for goalie interference twice when he was firmly planted outside the crease and was not touching the goalie, Ryan Getzlaf is allowed to slash Osgood in the right arm as the Ducks score their second goal. The Ducks are constantly allowed to crash the net in an attempt to drive Osgood into the goal. The Ducks are constantly allowed to punch, jab and cross check after the whistle. The penalty on Niklas Kronwall in Game 2 that resulted in a Ducks goal? Scott Niedermayer has built a Hall of Fame career using that same interference move. He perfected it and led the New Jersey Devils to the top of the NHL and ushered in the Dead Puck Era with it. And yet he still does it without penalty.

And just when you think the officiating could not be anymore incompetent, anymore of a farce...they manage to top themselves. Everybody likes to complain about the refs, in every sport. And yet tonight, Red Wings fans can legitimately say that Brad Watson determined the outcome of the game. The puck was loose, Marian Hossa poked it in, the game was tied...and then it wasn't. Instead of skating in behind the net to make sure the puck was dead, Watson made the move to blow his whistle as he skated in. He even blew the whistle AFTER the puck was in the net. And yet, because of another one of Bettman's laughably awful rules, the act of the referee moving his hand toward his mouth to blow the play dead overrules the actual blowing of the whistle. In what other sport does this apply? The answer is none, because other sports aren't run by a clown masquarading as a commissioner.

Hockey is a beautiful game. It's exciting, it's heartstopping, it's gutwrenching. It's a wonderful, awesome sport. And it will never reach its potential while the human excrement Gary Bettman is running it. His TV deal, his refs. His mess. Gary Bettman running the NHL gives hope to idiots everywhere. If you're lucky, you too can be successful at life. And you can employ people of equal stupidity to ruin a good thing.

In a perfect world, the Red Wings use this robbery as a rallying point to finally cave the Ducks' skulls in. But hey, in a perfect world, these two teams are in overtime right now and Gary Bettman is hitched on the back of a garbage truck gathering trash. In a perfect world, this scene doesn't happen:

Smelling salts.

Ducks 4, Red Wings 3, 3 OTs; Western Semifinals, 1-1

This really wasn't surprising to any experienced Red Wings fan. We've seen this same song and dance before. The Red Wings dominate play in OT, throwing shot after shot and chance after chance at the opposing goalie, and in the blink of an eye, the other team skates down the ice, throws a harmless looking shot at the net, and it finds a corner and bam, it's game over, and you feel like somebody just punched you in the groin. It happened last year in the Finals against Pittsburgh with much, much more on the line.

What has to happen now is the Red Wings have to respond to this like they responded against the Penguins. Today was pretty awful, not just because of the end result, but because the Wings, for the most part, sleepwalked through the first two periods. They allowed the Ducks to control play and were lucky to only face a 3-2 deficit after 40 minutes. They came alive in the 3rd and were swarming for the better part of three periods right up until Marchant fluttered the winner over Osgood's shoulder a minute into the 3rd overtime. But it shouldn't have gotten to that point anyway. This was a smelling salt game, in the sense that it's going to serve as a wakeup call in one way or another. We all hope it's the type of smelling salt game like Game 5 vs. Pittsburgh was; it refocuses the Wings as they hit the road in hostile territory, and they control the game, and emerge victorious.

Or, and what we fear, it could be the type of smelling salt game they instead causes you to spasm violently and throw up your lunch all over yourself, like Game 5 vs. these same Ducks two years ago. The gut punch of Niedermayer's fluke tying goal in the final minute combined with the sheer horror of Selanne's winner in the overtime ruined the psyche of those Red Wings, and it showed in Game 6 back in Anaheim. The Ducks mowed through them in the first two periods and staked 3-0 and 4-1 leads that couldn't be overcome because the Wings were too dazed early on. I would hope, after going through the experience against the Penguins, that the Wings will avoid such glazed looks in their eyes when Game 3 begins Tuesday night.

In fact, we need the exact opposite. We need fire from the opening faceoff. The sense of urgency that showed up in the 3rd period today? We need that in the first period in Anaheim on Tuesday. We need Datsyuk, Zetterberg and Hossa to bring the heat. Ryan Getzlaf has been a horse through these first two games. It seemed like every time he was on the ice, he generated a scoring chance. It almost felt like Babcock and company were adjusting to the Getzlaf line instead of forcing them to adjust. The Ducks' top line dictated play when they were on the ice. In Anaheim, the script needs to be flipped. When the Datsyuk-Hossa line or Zetterberg-Franzen line is on the ice, the Ducks must be forced to adjust. Darren Pang (who has proven to be just as annoying as Pierre McGuire - must be a bald thing) suggested at the second intermission that Babcock should reunite Datsyuk and Zetterberg on the top line - reuniting the Circus, as Wings fans know it as. That didn't happen today, and it wasn't a detriment, as the Wings tied it anyway. But for Game 3, why not consider it? Hossa is every bit as dangerous as the Euro Twins are, but he seems to be snakebitten right now. So I say bump him down to the second line with Franzen and either Cleary or Helm (who was probably the best player for Detroit today). Let Datsyuk and Zetterberg wreak havoc like they did in the postseason last year.

Oh, and we need Rafalski and Draper back. Now. The Ducks will be able to control the matchups in Games 3 and 4, being the home team. You can bet they're going to put the Getzlaf line out there when Lidstrom isn't on the ice. Ericsson has played well over his head, and Stuart and Kronwall have been dependable through the first two games. But I don't trust Lebda, and Chelios has no value anymore. We need Rafalski back there now. That will allow Ericsson to go back to the 3rd unit with Lebda, and allow Chelios to go away like he needs to.

As for Draper, he's probably our best faceoff man, which is saying something since Datsyuk, Zetterberg, and Helm are all awesome at it. If he ever gets the green light to go, it'd be a hell of a decision on who to sit. I'd lean toward Kopecky, personally. He looked a step slow out there today, but I wouldn't envy Babcock if he has to make a choice like that.

Nobody expected a sweep. Most picked six or seven games, which means the Wings had to lose. This one was definitely gutwrenching, but we just have to hope that the Wings who took the ice in Pittsburgh 11 months ago show up on Tuesday and take the war right to the Ducks in front of their wine and cheese crowd.

To close, I'm going to steal a line from a commenter at Abel to Yzerman, who quoted Paul Gauguin:

"Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge."