Dear piece of crap NHL referees:

Hi, it's me, Brian. I noticed during tonight's game you guys were having some difficulties making correct calls. Not to worry my striped friends, I am here to help you.

The following is an example of someone who is NOT in the crease and therefore any goal scored on the play should not be disallowed:
Stay with me now, I understand you guys are pretty slow and stupid just like your boss Gary Bettman, but I'm trying to explain this the best I can. The following is an example of someone who IS in the crease while a goal is scored.
Now normally such a play would not be a problem, since there isn't any actual contact with the goalie (notice there isn't any contact in either picture). But when you disallow one goal because of a player's alleged presence in the crease, you better call it both ways, or it might seem a bit...crooked? You might seem a bit...stupid.

Oh, by the way, thanks for letting Dallas players tackle, shove and interfere with Detroit players all through the 3rd period. I thought those penalties at the end when the Stars had a two goal lead were a nice touch, too. Keep up the good work, you idiots!

Love,
Brian.