Friday, May 15, 2009


Red Wings 4, Ducks 3; Wings win Western Semis, 4-3

It was exciting. It was exhilirating. It was pulse-racing, gutwrenching, and nearly heartbreaking.

And just like Chief over at A2Y, I'll be damned if I'm going to be classy about this.

Fuck the Ducks. Fuck their players, fuck their coaches. Chris Pronger can go to hell, and he can take that bitch Corey Perry with him. Special Nieds Scott Niedermayer can shave his skunk beard and take his cheap shots and retire. Wizdoucheski and Doucheimin can suck it. Ryan Getzlaf can get slapped if that's what it will take for him to shut his stupid mouth. Randy Cry-lyle can sit on it and rotate with his double talk about goalie interference and how "physical play is allowed".

This was the sweetest victory since we killed Patrick Roy seven years ago. Sweeter than the Cup vs. Pittsburgh last year. Why? Because this was personal. This was against a team intent on not just beating us, but destroying us. Last night was more than a dramatic seventh game victory that sent us to our third straight final four. It was about delivering the final blow against our #1 nemesis. And make no mistake about it, the Ducks are as close to the 1996-2002 Avalanche as we're going to get. Their classlessness and thuggish intimidation tactics drove us mad with fury, blinded us with rage as we called for blood. And yet the ones who mattered most - the Red Wings players - did what they do best: they answered goonery with goals. And at 9:32 PM eastern time, at the 11th hour of the 7th game, good triumphed over evil; Batman finally beat the Joker; the Red Wings finally vanquished their nemesis in an act of vengeance years in the making.

Rob Niedermayer's pushing of Hasek in Game 2 in 2007. Pronger's elbow on Holmstrom. The fluttering puck of death in Game 5. Lilja's giveaway to Selanne. Watching the Ducks celebrate a Western Conference title. Brown's "physical play" on Hudler. Special Nieds and Getslapped interfering with Osgood in Game 3. Brad Watson. Pronger trying to kill Datsyuk after Game 3. Special Nieds' elbow on Datsyuk after Game 6. Perry the fairy beating a defenseless Rafalski to a pulp. The constant cross checks. The constant runnings of our goalie. The constant cheap shots and trash talk.

All of the above was atoned for last night. Like I had called for for the past two weeks, the Ducks finally paid their debt. They paid for the crimes they have committed. Was this the end? Probably not. The Ducks will be back. There will come a time, probably in the near future, when they return for more. They will continue to do what they do. Perry and Getslapped are both young. They will continue to annoy us for years to come. Sasquatch is getting long in the tooth, but he's not done throwing his elbows around just yet. Special Nieds may or may not return, I'm sure he will spend time in his Prius meditating or some shit to figure out if he's going to hold the Ducks hostage for half a year again or not. Regardless, this war isn't over like the war against Colorado was over in 2002.

But we have closure. The trangressions for which they are responsible over the past two years have been answered for. I'm sure somebody will admonish me for this post, calling me classless and saying that karma will get me. To that, I say: nyah nyahhhhh. This WAS karma. The Ducks had karma coming to them for all they've done, and they got it, the most glorious of ways. It's the job of the players and coaches to be classy (which, by the way...the Ducks aren't), not the fans. If you expect people to be superficially gracious and respectful, you picked the wrong blog to read. The wrong sport to follow. The wrong species to be a part of.

Go golfing, bitch. Have fun on that golf course. Maybe you can find a caddy to beat the shit out of and make yourself feel good. Make sure you tell him that's he's gonna get it.

1 comment:

Hannah said...

i'll leave the sports talking to you and just keep saying WOOOO for a while.